Getting Over Your Fear Of Failure
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” -Lao Tzu
The anxiety factor
Your palms are sweaty, your heart is racing, your breath is short and quick, and there is a voice inside your head screaming, “I must be crazy! I cannot do this! Everyone is watching to see if I screw up. What if I fail? This is going to be so embarrassing.
Aaahhh…the anxiety of trying something new. It can be overwhelming. Attempting to, or even thinking about leaving our comfort zone for bright new horizons can drum up the deepest fears. No matter how truly “uncomfortable” our current reality might be, we still feel that staying with what we know is safer than putting ourselves out there and trying to achieve something more.
What if I fail?
Yes, new experiences can be scary. The first day in a new school, becoming a new Mom, the first day at a new job…fear of the unknown, fear that we will embarrass ourselves, fear of what others will think of us, fear that we will fall flat on our face- a great big failure.
The fact is, every Master begins as a Student. When a baby takes her first step, does she just take off running like an elite marathoner? Of course not. She wobbles and stumbles and falls on her butt. Does it diminish her accomplishment of taking her first steps? Nope. And what does she do next? She gets right back up and tries again. And again, and again, until she masters walking and then before you know it, she is in a full on sprint every place she goes. Why? Because she CAN. because she didn’t give up when she failed the first, second, tenth time.
As babies, it doesn’t even cross our minds not to try new things or to keep trying if we don’t achieve the results we want the first time. Fear of failure is instilled in us in early childhood. We become cautious and begin seeking confirmation and permission. As a result, as adults, we all have a certain degree of “fear of failure” that we carry around with us like a weight chained to our ankle…an excuse not to try new things. The fact is “Failure” is not something to be feared. To succeed or not simply means we are growing and learning how to be better the next time we try. You only truly fail when you stop trying.
In Running, Health, and Fitness, people cling to that fear of failure as a shield to protect them from possibly not reaching their goals. The truth is, there is no straight line to the finish. All roads to greatness are paved with obstacles, stumbling blocks, twist and turns to help us grow and eventually realize our full potential.
A New Experience
When I first started running, I had no idea what I was doing. As a kid, I was a mediocre athlete, at best. Every year when we did the “Mile Time Test” in gym class, I always finished last. It bothered me. A lot. But I didn’t give up. What I lacked in athletic talent, I made up for in stubbornness and determination. As a teenager, a couple times a week I would jog 2-3 miles through my neighborhood. I was slow. I had no idea how to breathe. My form was probably terrible. But I kept going. By the time I was in college, I was a “casual runner”. I had no plan, I simply ran for the exercise to allude the “freshman 15”, to get away from my books and six roommates for a while, and to clear my head. This casual running continued into my twenties, when at the age of 22, a friend of mine suggested that we run a 5k. I of course thought she was completely out of her mind. I had never run a race before. What if I couldn’t finish? What if I finished last, just like in gym class? I was afraid of what people would think. I knew it was time to face that fear of failure.
I set my sights on running the 5k to the best of my ability with the simple goal of crossing the Start and Finish line. I mapped out a plan adding a few 20 minute runs to my workouts each week to prepare. I envisioned myself crossing that finish line every day and how satisfying it would be to complete what I had set out to do. Race day was quickly approaching.
It was a beautiful sunny day in Connecticut that morning. My goal was to show up, run the whole race, and cross that finish line. A sensible goal for my first 5k. When the start gun went off, my stubbornness and determination kicked into high gear, and with adrenaline rushing through my veins, I ran that race as fast as I knew how. It wasn’t until I crossed the finish line that I realized what I had accomplished. I had not only run the entire race and crossed the finish line…I had placed 4th in my age group (13-24) That was the first time a felt like a “real runner”. After so many years of running and failing to improve, I had finally had the courage to commit to a tangible goal and believe in myself. I wouldn’t have realized what I was capable of if I hadn’t had the courage to embrace my fear of failure and keep going even when I wanted to quit.
Lessons learned
So, from the girl who notoriously finished last in the Mile test, to a total of 47 Finish Lines and counting…if I have learned anything at all, it’s this-
Whatever the negative little voice inside your head is telling you that you cannot do…
Whatever you are afraid that you might not be good enough at…
Whatever you are afraid of being judged for…
THAT IS THE VERY THING YOU NEED TO DO!
5 Steps to Crush Your Goals
Below are the 5 steps that helped me & will help you to get over your fear of failure and completely CRUSH YOUR GOALS:
- Commit– Determine one goal that you want to achieve. Write it down. Break that goal into chunks and create a detailed plan to achieve that goal.
- Believe– Believe in yourself. Block out any negativity, internally and outside of yourself. Wake up every morning. write down that goal, and do one thing every day that gets you closer to achieving it.
- Envision– Visualize yourself achieving your goal. How does it feel? What does it look like? Where are you? What is the weather? what are you wearing? Who are you with? The more detailed you can get, the more real it becomes.
- Learn– If you have a set-back, if you have an off-day, accept it for what it is- a stumbling block. This is an opportunity to learn. What led to your set-back? How can you take steps to course-correct and avoid that from happening again?
- Repeat– We live, we learn, we stumble, and we get back to crushing our goals. Remind yourself of why you set the goal and re-commit to reaching it. Channel the determined spirit of the baby learning how to walk and no matter how many times you fall down, just keep lifting yourself back up and continuing on the path toward your goal.
Trust the process
Amazing things happen when we go through this process. We learn and grow and find out what we are truly made of. Give yourself permission to leave your comfort zone and explore new things. Your body is so much stronger than you think, and your mind will quit long before your body ever will. These steps will help train your mind to believe in yourself and the power that you can achieve anything. In fitness and in life, you are capable of achieving greatness, whatever that may look like to you. Whether you want to run a marathon, start your own business, be the best mom or wife or sister, or friend. You are a Bad-ass, and you have goals to crush. You just need to be brave enough to take the first step.